15 Things I’ve Learned in 15 Years of Marriage {and a giveaway}

Today we celebrate 15 years of marriage. Time goes by oh, so fast and I can’t believe it’s been 15 years. 15?!? 

I was at the gas station the other day checking out (it’s a gas station just up the road from our house where we usually fill up our cars and have gotten to know some of the employees) and the cashier said “How’s your boyfriend doing?” I laughed and said “Oh, he’s my husband. We have been married almost 15 years.” I probably gave her a weird look because she immediately said, “Oh, your husband – Wow, 15 years! That is a very long time. Not many people now days have been married that long.” It kind of hit me. I hadn’t ever thought of it quite like that. My grandparents were married between 60-70 years, my parents were married 30+ years, it just hasn’t ever occurred to me that 15 years was a “very long time”, but I guess in this day in age it is. 

So, it got me thinking…

Our generation needs to figure out how to have longer lasting marriage. Times aren’t harder now than they were when my grandparents were young and married. It seems the “I do’s” back in those days really meant something. It meant a longing and commitment to be together, no matter what was thrown at you.

One of my favorite bloggers and authors says it well:

“Good marriages don’t just happen. They’re built, nurtured and protected. They start with love and longing and make the distance through dedication and sticky resolve. You’ve got what it takes. Be committed.”

Heidi St. John

I want what my grandparents had. Don’t you? Last weekend we were on our date night (more about date nights later in this post) and we were talking about what we have learned over the last 15 yeras in our marriage. Some of them were funny, and some of them were just down right true. You learn ALOT when you live with someone and you especially learn alot when you’re married. 

Fifteen Things We Have Learned in Fifteen Years of Marriage:

• Dream together. Create new dreams, set new goals and conquer them together.
• Laugh. Even when life is hard, babies are crying, the dishes aren’t done, and the list goes on and on — find things to laugh at. It will be a game changer for your mood.
• Compliment each other. Pretty self-explanatory, but such an important thing when you’re married.
• Be adventurous. Try new things that the other likes. This is something I am constantly having to remember to do. Try something new together or something that the other likes or is interested in.
• Choose your battles. Don’t always complain. Don’t always pick every little thing that annoys you. Choose which disagreements are actually worth it and leave the others.
• Travel together. This doesn’t mean you have to go far or to somewhere expensive. Even just an overnight trip to somewhere new or in your own city will do. Explore new places together.
• Have consistent date nights. This may be the most important one yet. We are firm believers in date night. It’s worth the hassle in getting a babysitter and finding something to do when you’re exhausted from parenting. Don’t forget you and your husband were “an item” before you had kids. Don’t let kids take over and forget who you were and are now.
• Don’t give up. It seems like today so many people throw in the towel when things get hard or they change their mind on wanting to be married to their spouse. Don’t give up – even when you can’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.
• Always tell the truth. Even on the little things that you think may not matter, they do and it’s always so important to be honest with each other. Trust isn’t easily rebuilt, so just tell the truth to begin with.
• Be quick to forgive each other. Again, something that can be so hard, but it’s oh so important. Don’t go to bed upset with each other. Learn the words (and use them) “I’m sorry” and mean it when you say it.
• Invest in your relationship with your inlaws. These relationships are what you make them. Don’t buy into the conventional wisdom that your relationship with your inlaws has to come with an eye roll. We both feel like we won the jackpot with our inlaws. A lot of it has to do with the fact that we’ve taken the time to nurture those relationships.
• Always talk positive about the other. Don’t complain or talk negatively about your spouse to anyone else. First, no one wants to hear that. Secondly, you aren’t loving the other well if you’re complaining about them to others. 
• Communicate, communicate, communicate. This should be at the top of the list. It’s one of the most important, if not THE most important things in a marriage. No relationship can work if you don’t talk to the other person. 
• Share everything. Bank accounts, a home, resources, possessions, etc. What’s yours is his and what’s his is yours. Always.
• Be grateful for the time you’re given. There’s always something to be grateful for. I know it’s harder than hard to remember to do this and it’s importance, even when life throws you curve balls and you can’t see a way to be thankful — but just try it. I promise there’s something there to give thanks for.

Do I have marriage figured out? Oh goodness no. Along the way over the last 15 years I’ve learned a few things and I’ve been given some great advice from mentors and family members whose marriages I admire. I’m sure over the next 15 years I’ll have more to add to this list and I’ll learn new things along the way.

As I said earlier, we are firm believers in date night — even if it’s to grab a quick cup of coffee for just an hour or a quick trip to your favorite mexican restaurant in town. So, we’re giving away a Starbucks giftcard to one of you to use on your next date night.

Entering is super easy.

• Comment with something you’ve learned in marriage. If you aren’t married yet, comment with something you’ve learned from someone else’s marriage. (Also, leave your email address or a way we can contact you if you’re the winner)

• Follow along on Instagram. Let us know what name you followed under by commenting on this post so we can make sure you’re following.

• “Like” our Facebook page. Let us know what name you “liked” our page with so we can say “hi” and announce you as the winner if you’re chosen.

This giveaway ends at 6pm CST on June 8th. A random winner will be chosen and announced after this time. The winner has 24 hours to respond to the announcement / email, or a new winner will be chosen.