Freedom By Definition

We all define ourselves in a variety of ways. Some of these definitions are inherited, some are given to us when we are young, some we self-assign, some come attached to careers, behavior, or lifestyles we have chosen. Trying to live up to our definitions can enslave us.

Lately, I have been pondering the fact that even positive, Biblical titles for the roles in my life can become suffocating if I define myself by them.

• “Wife” – If this is the foundational definition for my life, I become smothered with fear of losing my husband, frustrated with a sense of losing my identity apart from him. I begin to look to him for fulfillment and peace that God alone can provide.
• “Mother” – If I begin to define myself in relationship to my three small children, I parent out of pride and fear rather than of humility and selfless love. They become my accessories, my badges of honor, and I am consumed with how they make me look rather than desiring their sanctification and God’s ultimate glory.
• “Leader.” – God has entrusted me with leadership in ministry. But when I take my eyes off of Him and look at the tasks He has given me, I become fretful, prideful, selfish, petty. The task overshadows the purpose. It overshadows the people. It overshadows God.

When we let any of these lesser labels define us, we become enslaved by them. We are only free when we stop trying to define ourselves, and see ourselves in relationship to God’s definitions for Himself and for us.

Reading through the Old Testament, I am struck by God’s continual reminders that it is all about Him.

• “You are the God who sees me” – Genesis 16:13
• “The LORD Will Provide” – Genesis 22:14
• “Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” – Exodus 4:11-12
• [Speaking to Pharoah] “I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” – Exodus 9:16
• “I am the LORD, who heals you” – Exodus 15:26
• “I am the LORD, who makes you holy” – Exodus 31:13, Leviticus 22:32
• “I am the LORD, who has set you apart” – Leviticus 20:24

On and on through the Scripture I find it again and again – my titles don’t matter. HIS do. My worth and value and purpose and honor flow directly from Him – when I find my significance in the fact that He made me, chose me, called me, healed me, set me apart, sees me, provides what I need, and works through me in my weakness, I find freedom.

I can stop frantically trying to define who I am and show myself to be significant. The greater and more glorious I see Him, the more He is lifted up in my life, the more I find freedom in becoming less. It all becomes about Him – His will, His desire, His glory. If I define myself in relation to who He is, the others are put into their proper places – I am a wife, a mother, a leader, a blogger, a homemaker for His glory… it’s not about me and my image, it’s about Him and His plan.

Do you long for freedom from your definitions, chosen or assigned? Do you long for significance? Have you found that one of your titles, good though it may seem, has become to smother you?

Lose yourself in Him today. Read through His Word for yourself. Discover how He defines Himself, how He defines you. Losing yourself in Him, dying to your definitions, is the most free you will ever be.

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

Colossians 3:2-3

Kristi Stephens blogs at KristiStephens.com, walking with women into the riches of God’s Word, helping them develop a bigger view of our awesome God. She is a wife of nine years, homemaker, and mom to 5 year old daughter AG, 3 year old son LB, and six month old baby brother BW.